This just in: Colin Cowherd is a jerk!

I wrote this yesterday while I couldn't get to Blogger, or my e-mail, or, you know, Google. It's basically a statement of the obvious, but I figure it's worth posting.


So, here's what you need to know about me: I dislike listening to music radio in my car because I end up having to switch from station to station as new songs come on and I dislike them. You know how it is. I also cannot stomach any of the other talk radio in my area, and by leaving my car radio on the local ESPNRadio affiliate, I don't miss out on Indians or Cavs games. I also spend a lot of time in my car after Mike & Mike in the Morning, but before The Dan Patrick Show* If you are at all familiar with the ESPNRadio programming schedule, you know that that means I end up listening to far more of The Herd With Colin Cowherd than is probably healthy, given my genetic propensity toward things like "high blood pressure," and "heart attacks," and "screaming, frothing rage."

For those of you not familiar with Colin Cowherd's brand of idiocy, Cowherd is infamous around the sports blogosphere for the following:


1. Stealing an entire blog post off the internet, reading it on the air, and not citing the lulz, because, you know, it's on the internet! Therefore I can pass it off as my own work!

2. For serious, getting his listeners to launch a DDoS attack on sports blog The Big Lead, causing the incredibly popular site to go down for around 36 hours.

3. Affecting a truly obnoxious "nerd voice" every time he feels it's important to make fun of people who think, perhaps, we ought to judge baseball players based on, you know, their actual stats as opposed to our gut feelings, however truthy** those gut feelings may be.


However, one complaint that is rarely if ever brought up when talking about what a terrible sports radio commentator Cowherd is?

Dude hates women. Hardcore in the bookstore.

So today I'm running some errands, tooling around in the car on my way out to the hardware store, and ESPNRadio comes back from commercial, and Oh shit. I didn't realize it was after 10am. That means Colin Cowherd is on. However, dude is talking about the series finale of The Sopranos, and I've been deeply entertained listening to people who don't think visual media like movies or TV are art bitching about the ending of the show*** all day. (Actually, I shouldn't bag on Golic, here. The disappointed view is fully valid, depending on what you're watching TV for.)

Anyway, so I decide, okay, I'll listen to Colin get himself all riled up about The Sopranos and then I'll go inside and pick up that ladder for my mom. Except then, I swear to freaking God, Cowherd starts talking about Men And Women and how Men are Different and Better than Women and says something to the effect of "You know, on 9/11, women were running out of the buildings, but men were running in."

... I hit my handy AM/FM button and listened to eighties music for the rest of my errands.

I am so freaking tired of Cowherd bagging on women. When he starts talking about how "some people just don't change," (a valid position to take when traditionally surly athletes sign with/get traded to another team) he ends up going onto a tangent about how you "don't marry the stripper." Because women who strip do it because they're cheating hussies, not because it's a way for a moderately attractive woman with an inability (due to school, other jobs, whatever) to work traditional 9-to-5 hours with no formal education. Nope, it's because strippers are bad people who shouldn't ever have a long-term committed relationship with someone.

Or there's, you know this entire excruciating segment, chronicled at Fire Joe Morgan.

And now women are cowardly and men run into collapsing buildings because they're Braver and Better than women. Not because men are more likely to be employed as rescue personnel because of their greater likelihood of passing the strength tests. Not because we, as a society, are more likely to value the work of men on that day than the work of women who surely also did their part to help the community as much as each individual was able. No, no, thank you for opening my eyes to the fact that men are Just Braver than me.

I am so sick of Colin Cowherd's incredible ability to remain on the air in spite of being a flaming misogynist, a plagiarist, and likely a criminal (for inciting the DDoS attack on air).

When are they going to fire this guy?



*Note that Mike and Mike, and Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann are pretty much the only people worth listening to ESPNRadio for, although The B Show is occasionally amusing if you're ever in the car at three in the morning and there isn't some sort of wacky dance mix marathon going on on a music channel. I used to have an uneasy truce with Eric Kusilias at The Sports Bash, but he got moved over to NASCAR Now, and I dislike his replacement.

**Note to Firefox, "truthy" is too a word. Suck it.

***Note: I did not see the series finale. I do not watch the Sopranos. The descriptions I've read at Sopranos_Fans make me think it's at least possibly worthy from an artistic perspective. Then again, the only series finale that totally blew IMHO was for Seinfeld, so I'm perhaps a bit lenient.