In which I engage a troll.

So back in June, I ranted about how I dislike Colin Cowherd. I'm still getting comments on this post, primarily from people I gather are his fans. (I'm curious how they found me because I am fairly sure that the people reading me and the people who listen to Mr. Cowherd are not groups of people who intersect all that often.)

Basically, I'm making this post to let everyone know I've shut the comments on the post off. Because I really just don't care how much you hate women or how you think just because something was supposed to be funny, it wasn't also ill-informed and assholic.

And I'm sure The Herd is going to flock back home and let everyone know that they won because they made me shut off commenting on a post. Good for you. Have fun. Stay there. I don't like you.

However, to address one final comment: "Women suck at talking about sports."
1. Maybe you suck at listening to women.

2. Women are socialized to downplay their knowledge and to Not Argue with men. If we got into arguments about sports with you all the time, you'd just call us shrews anyway.

3. A lot of guys also suck at talking about sports. Sturgeon's Law and all that.

4. I will concede that because men are more likely than women to have played sports a great deal as a kid, they will have a different perspective when discussing sports that many women will not have. This is not a lack on the part of women, but on the part of a society that does not encourage the same level of competitive physical activity in girls as it does in boys.

5. I cannot believe I'm engaging a troll.

Wow, I appear to be alive

I haven't posted here in a very long time. I apologize for not being more open about taking a hiatus from sports blogging when it began. I certainly didn't expect it to last for as long as it did.

I'm in Indiana now, which might make my ability to keep up on the Cleveland Indians difficult this season. (And it will certainly make things confusing as the Triple-A team out here is the Indianapolis Indians, who are not, of course, affiliated with the Cleveland team.)

Let's start with my final comment on the Indians' 2007 season, several months late: If you had told me at the beginning of the year all that would happen, I probably would have taken it, but, of course, once you make it to the playoffs, nothing feels good but winning, so it feels like a disappointment at the time. Still, I'm ultimately pleased with the result.

Now, to get back to all this. I stopped blogging, not because I got tired of sports or because I didn't think the Indians could win, or any of a number of things. I stopped blogging because, truth be told, I hate the majority of the sports blogosphere. Not the ultimate idea behind sports blogging, which is that the mainstream sports media doesn't know what they're talking about the majority of the time, which is a statement I have openly agreed with. No, the problem I have is the reason this blog is called "Serious Dismay Sports" in the first place.

I don't understand people making themselves so unhappy over something that matters so little in the long run, and basing their personal worth on their ability to suck it up and continue paying attention. I should understand it, I'm also a sci-fi geek, but I don't. When someone starts hating a show they watch, they're encouraged by others to quit watching. But if you do that with sports, you're a Bad Fan.

I do understand the misogyny and, let's be quite honest, quite often the racism that shows up in the sports media (mainstream and blogosphere). The blogosphere is no different from the mainstream sports media in this regard, on the whole. And maybe this doesn't matter to you if you're a white dude, or if you're a woman or non-white but have bought into some of the racism and sexism in American culture. But if you haven't bought in, you might understand why its neverending presence in something I'm trying to enjoy is upsetting. And I guess here my problem is the failure of the sports blogosphere as a whole to really present that many alternative viewpoints outside of "understands how sabermetrics works." (Disregarding, of course, some of my favorite bloggers.)

And ultimately, I stopped because it stopped being fun and started being work. I was spending too much time on this, hating every minute of it, and getting very little out of it.

I don't know if I'm going to continue this blog starting this spring training and for the 2008 season. I might, since I know the start of the season always gets me so excited I feel I have to blog. But I don't know that I'll be updating daily, or even on a regular basis. I don't know that I'll be interacting so much with the commenters--although I do, you know, post on game threads and the like at Let's Go Tribe.

I know that the blogosphere isn't all bad. I love many of my favorite bloggers as much as I hate my least favorite bloggers. I think this is merely a matter of focusing on the ones I like. That is, maybe, I need to be a little less full of Serious Dismay in 2008. (Which is not to say there won't be some.)


So... How about that Mitchell Report?

This is totally without substance

So, all I really have to say about baseball right now are things like "Asdrubal Cabrera is just dreeeeeamy," which, believe me, is annoying me, and I'm the one thinking about it all the freaking time.

Also, I'm a bit torn about the current series between the Indians and the Twins, because, look! I'm glad we don't have to deal with Joe Mauer! But I'm sad that I don't get to spend the games ogling Joe's legs. Uh. Is that TMI? He's a leggy dude. I'm just sayin'.

Instead, my friends! Things that have nothing to do with sports at all! I know some of you are ladies who are in my general peer group, and I have recently discovered blogs that go back and re-read young adult book series. And while my big interests may lead people to believe I was an atypical young girl while growing up, that is such a lie. That is to say, The Dairi Burger blogs about Sweet Valley High, and Claudia's Room blogs about the Baby-Sitters Club. Both blogs bring me great joy, mostly because I basically consumed these books in my youth, and somehow I missed all the date rape in SVH the first time around.

The end of an era

The Indians are 2½ games up on the Tigers in the AL Central, you say?

Pfft. I'm going to talk about Fernando Cabrera ending up in the Orioles system instead. (After not pitching for... about a month?) Or, not really talk about, because what else is there to say? It's the end of an era, and I hope he gets a chance to work with Leo Mazzone eventually, as that's seemed to work out well for other Indians-castoff, Jeremy Guthrie. I'm not sure how two guys named Cabrera who can't find the strike zone is going to work out for the O's, but it should at least be an interesting experiment.

Part of the reason I failed at actually continuing the Boyfriend Standings (aside from the other part where making the tables was tedious, time-consuming, and not worth the effort given my strain to explain the changes to the scoreboard) was that a part of me just hadn't accepted "breaking up with" Ferd. It was weird, trying to declare one play my new "baseball boyfriend," when i'd never really, in my heart, given up on the first one.

In a way, Ferd going to another system is good for me. a clean break so I can eventually move one with my life and develop another irrational fondness for an overrated reliever in spite of my better judgment. But, man, I'm gonna miss that kid.

How come I can never *find* this stuff when I go to games?

So, I have some serious problems with PETA I'm not going to get into in this post, but they're occasionally a good source for information about living veg*n¹. My buddy Leanne pointed me to PETA's Top 10 Vegetarian-Friendly Ballparks for 2007. (They also have a list of vegetarian-friendly minor league parks.)

I'm honestly not that surprised that Citizens Bank Park in Philly was on the list, as I was actually able to find a few of the veg*n options there when I saw some games. (Although not all the delicious things they list at PETA's page. I have a feeling a lot of it is at the restaurants at the park and not the concession stands in the walkways.)

Also unsurprising is Pittsburgh's PNC Park not being on the list. Veg*ns are pretty much stuck with soft pretzels and maybe risking some French fries there.

Honestly, I'd find PETA's list a lot more helpful if it would tell me where I can find all these delicious things at the ballpark, as that's the hard part of this. It doesn't help me to know there are veggie dogs at a particular park if they're hidden, not on a menu, and in one out-of-the-way location, y'know?

And PETA's lack of distinction between vegetarian food and vegan food is understandable from a PR perspective--"Look how easy it is to be vegetarian! You can still get fake hotdogs at the ballpark, even!"--but it's not terribly useful from a practical standpoint of figuring out if I can eat the faux meats on their list, as many have eggs and dairy in them.

I really should get on that original plan I had to contact major league stadiums about what veg*n food they had and where it was located in the park.


¹ veg*n is short for vegan or vegetarian. Because veg*ns are lazy typers.

The only entertaining thing I've said in weeks

A conversation from tonight's Let's Go Tribe Game Thread:

Joe: That's either a single or an out with Gutz.
supermarioelia: Overexaggeration of the night. No way any human catches that.
Gradyforpresident: But Gutz isn't human.
Me: robot baseball players are my favorite.
nickjs21: But this is a game of heart!!!1!
Me: but robots are awesome.
nickjs21: I can't argue with that.
Me: also, i think gutz is one of those neato sci-fi robots who are like "man, i wish i had emotions," failing to realize that tragically wishing for emotions is an emotion. that's totally heart.
nickjs21: If only everyone understood Gutz like you.

Sometimes, like games like tonight's, you have to make your own fun. I think a "Replace everyone with emo sci-fi robots!" campaign is in order. They've already gotten the Indians pitching staff; you just haven't realized it yet.

I can't believe I'm coming out of hiatus for this.

So Michael Vick is apparently going to plead guilty to some of those federal charges brought against him. Now we can all relax and go back to eating cows and watching horse racing.

So I haven't been updating at all lately, and I'm totally behind on all my sports blogs. I don't know. I'm just not feeling up to it lately.

Basically, I'm just posting to comment on the total letdowns that were the Cabrera and Stanford DFAs. Stanford ended up going back to Buffalo. F-Cab took his outright release from the club. I'll, of course, be giving y'all the Fernando Cabrera updates as they come, I suppose. that said, these moves are pretty much non-moves post-DFA for me, which is just so blah.

I'll say something exciting again someday. I might just not be made out for this kind of blogging.

756

I went out to the kitchen to get a sweet, and when I came back into the living room, a fly ball soared into the stands at AT&T Park in San Francisco, and Barry Bonds passed Hank Aaron in the record books as the all-time home run king.

I did not expect to have any reaction at all, really, as I've always been a bit torn on the subject of Bonds. I think, in some ways, people dislike Bonds so much for reasons that have nothing to do with his alleged steroid use, but on the other hand, if the alleged steroid use turns out to be for real, I understand the people who don't want to call Bonds the home run king.

I thought I'd just sit there, like Bud Selig did for 755, hands in my pockets, observing something that is at the very least, historic, even if it turns out not to be a true changing of the guard in the long run.

But instead, I started smiling.

And then I laughed, and clapped my hands, and settled down into the couch to watch the festivities.

I... did not expect to be happy when this happened, but it turns out that I was.

links!

I'm trying to do these posts a little less often. Unfortunately, that means they might be bigger.

Cleveland Indians
* Having No Blog Is My Blog: Mmm! Pie!
--Everyone loves pictures of Grady Sizemore getting a pie to the face... right? Right?


The rest of Baseball
* Baseball LJ Community: A fair-weather fan or an honest one?
Now, am I mistaken when I think that it is a fans right to cheer when the team is doing well, and to also boo when they feel the team is doing badly? Should the fans constantly be saying, "Oh that's ok. Go get 'em next at bat" when a player strikes out three times with the bases loaded and RISP?

* Editor & Publisher: Barry Bonds' Home Run Record Tainted by Mechanical Device?
...by my estimate, Bonds’ front arm “armor” may have contributed no fewer than 75 to 100 home runs to his already steroid-questionable total.
[and The Cheater's Guide To Baseball's take.]

* Baseball Prospectus: Barry Bonds' Brace
On Monday, an article was published regarding the brace, first at Editor and Publisher (a specialty publication covering the newspaper industry), purporting that the brace worn by Bonds was an illegal aid that helped Bonds hit home runs. The assertions of the author, Michael Witte, were on their surface difficult to believe, but I wanted to know more about this brace. What was it made of? Who made it? Could it possibly help Bonds hit?

* AOL Fanhouse: Is Alex Rodriguez going to get his No. 500 homer ball back?
This is a tough spot to be in. On the one hand, I could see wanting to give A-Rod the ball back if you're a fan of the team. But, you'd be giving up thousands upon thousands of dollars in the process.

* Church of Baseball: Dear Governor Kaine,
There were a few of these [autograph] vultures who obviously were just going to sell them. That really pissed me off, because I was directly affected by such types at least twice: 1) Jay Bruce was not allowed to sign the sweet spot (more unsweetness) of my new ball (remember, he was the first one I saw) because of these types of profit-sucking scavengers, and 2) Joey Votto would not sign my ball because he would "only sign for the kids" (I'll speculate more on that in a minute).

* I'm Writing Sports: Tommy John Surgery: The Truth Revealed
Dr. James Andrews, the leading physician in his field, recently explained in a New York Times article that the extra heat, if it exists at all, comes from the physical therapy and rehab that is done in post-op recovery. He also has a few theories that can explain this hoax: young pitchers begin to throw harder as they mature, players are comparing the speed from when they are injured to the postoperative velocity, and pitchers often improve their mechanics during rehab while also making their bodies stronger. Lastly, the repaired arms are pain free and rested.


Basketball
* AOL Fanhouse: In Defense of The Bay
I'd like to call this subconscious classism, but it's not even hidden. Streeter says Baron belongs in L.A. because Oakland isn't upscale -- Hollywood, pixie dust, whatever the hell you call it. He's saying rich people deserve to watch the most flashy, most exciting players alive. Poorer folk? They'll be fine with Stephen Jackson and Matt Barnes, right?


Football
* AOL Fanhouse: So How Did Brady Quinn Do?
The Cleveland Browns finally came to a contract agreement with quarterback Brady Quinn today, and on first glance, it looked like the Notre Dame quarterback got more money than he deserved, as the 22nd overall pick.


General Sports Media & Sports Blogging
* SI.com: Dan Patrick on his decision to leave ESPN
--The first interview with Dan Patrick after leaving the worldwide leader.

* AOL Fanhouse: Dan Patrick Heading to NBC in 2008?
That most likely means Patrick would be used on NBC's Olympics coverage from Beijing.

* Sports Business Daily: SportsWatch: What Top Sports News Outlets Covered During May
Sports fans today are consuming more information through more outlets than ever before, but despite this proliferation of media channels, a select few remain as the first destinations for fans. But what exactly are people consuming? How slanted toward a specific sport might one outlet be compared to another?

* Ballhype: Big Tent Sports Blogging
--An interview with the folks behind SB Nation.